god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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