she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
