I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
