oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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