I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
