Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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