If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
