I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
