is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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