I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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