dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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