THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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