She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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