Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
