and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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