I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
