ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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