everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
