she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
