his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All the doctor said was why
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
