Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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