Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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