I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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