when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
