dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
