Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
