I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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