Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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