I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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