is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we made out on top of his cat.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
