this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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