belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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