In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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