Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
