Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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