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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
