It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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