Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
