Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
