No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
