first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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