I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
