i jhust puked up my retainher.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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