how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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