whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize