she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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