If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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