According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
