i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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