$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
