i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
