why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
