After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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