Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
