if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
