Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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