This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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