are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
