Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Drunk is not a location!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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