i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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