Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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