i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I did not marry a roomba.
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