Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
