is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you will always have a special place in my vag
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
