I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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