Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
