she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
